


Accidentally In Love

by dustedoffanoldie



Series: Accidentally In Love [1]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4745540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustedoffanoldie/pseuds/dustedoffanoldie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Halpert: Salesman, single dad and accidental romantic lead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Thousand Miles From Home

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

You're three thousand miles from the place you once called home.

Jim walked into his closet and pulled out two slightly different coloured Oxford shirts and held them up against him before deciding on the lighter blue. He wasn't sure why he was so concerned about what he was going to wear, it's not like anyone will be paying that much attention to his wardrobe choice anyway.

Staring at himself in the mirror, he straightened his navy tie. God, he thought, I look exhausted. The three-hour time difference was affecting him way more than he thought it would. He smiled to himself as he watched Ellie asleep in bed behind him. He glanced quickly at the clock on his bedside table, and let out a deep breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. He'd have to wake her in a minute or he'd be late. It was tough to get Ellie up and out of bed sometimes; even though she was little, Jim could already tell she would not grow up to be a morning person.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped on his new leather shoes, adjusting his feet slightly before bending down to tie them up. If he were thinking clearly, he'd probably have gone with his trusty suede's. He had a feeling that breaking in new shoes on his first day of work wasn't going to be a good idea, but he wanted to make a good impression. He sighed heavily, he was clearly over thinking things today.

Why was he so nervous? It wasn't not like he'd never started a new job before. He knew that he was a pretty badass salesman; so selling paper would hopefully be a pretty easy gig for him. Before moving back to Scranton, he'd worked at a web-based company in Brea, Southern California for five years, selling ad space to companies. He'd recently been promoted to regional manager, which looked great on his resume when he applied for the job at Dunder Mifflin.

Despite all that, there was still a lot to lose and the more he thought about it, the more he freaked himself out. If he only had to worry about himself, it would be easier. But he had Ellie to think about too. So, making the decision to move three thousand miles across the country and leave behind a nice house and a decent salary was not something he wanted to regret. The thought of living closer to his parents was the only thing getting him by. He wouldn't worry so much knowing his parents were looking after his little girl when he went back to work.

Seeing the clock strike eight, Jim knew that he had to get moving if he was to make it to work on time. He made his way over to the bed and sat down, stroking her arm softly. "Ellie, time to get up, sweetheart." Her eyes opened sleepily and her face lit up as she focused on Jim. "Hi, baby, I love you." Jim smiled as his fingers formed the 'I love you' sign. This was something the doctors had encouraged Jim to do from early on, so it had now become second nature to him to speak and sign at the same time.

"Sit still," Jim laughed as he tried to slip the hearing aids into Ellie's small ears while she wriggled around excitedly. Once they slid into place, Jim turned her around in his arms. "How's that? Better?" he asked as Ellie lifted her hand and touched her finger to Jim's mouth. It was her way of telling him that she wanted to hear him talk.

Jim reached over and picked up the clothes he'd laid out for Ellie early that morning as he transferred her from her crib into his bed. The new house unsettled her, causing her to wake up around 5am and the only way to settle her was to bring her back in with him.

"Daddy's got to go to work today, but you're going to get to spend the whole day with Grandma," he told her. She tried to climb into his lap, her butt hoisted in the air as she tried to tackle the comforter that was in the way of her Daddy.

Jim lifted Ellie up and laid her back down in front of him. He carefully removed her pyjamas and changed her diaper, before he sat her in his lap and began dressing her. She lifted her arms in the air as Jim pulled the pink t-shirt over her head.

"I'm going to miss you," he told her, his hands making the signs automatically as he talked to her.

Once he finished getting Ellie ready, he carried her downstairs and placed her in her high chair.

"Toast or Cheerios?" he asked, as he knelt down in front of her, grinning as she made two little oh's with her thumb and forefingers.

"Cheerios it is, then."

The doorbell rang just as they had both finished their breakfast. Jim smiled as Ellie laughed at the ding-dong sound the bell made, and it melted his heart every time she did that.

He opened the door and his Mom rushed in, ignoring him and walking over to Ellie. "Hey, Mom. Oh no, I'm fine, I'm not nervous at all," he teased as he followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's just so lovely to have Ellie living so close now. How you doing? You okay?"

Jim wiped Ellie's mouth and leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Yeah, I'm okay. A little more nervous than I thought I'd be, but I think that's more to do with leaving Ellie, you know?"

Larissa smiled reassuringly when she saw the anxiety in her son's eyes. "Sweetheart, she'll be with me, it's not like you're leaving her with a stranger."

"I know, but this will be the longest we've ever been apart." He explained as he put his suit jacket on.

"I know, but you have to go back to work sometime, it's the reason you can home after all. I know you're going to hate me for asking, but... Have you spoken to Chloe?"

Jim exhaled deeply and ran his hand through his hair. "Mom, please. Not now."

"I'm just asking..."

"No, but you're not just asking, are you?"

"Jim... I just think it would be good for Ellie to know who her Mom was."

"If you said this to me a few months ago I'd agree with you, but we've not seen her in nine months. I've left messages on her cell phone, with her friends, with her family. I've told everyone who might possibly talk to her that we're moving back,' it's not like I packed our bags and just left. I gave her the chance, Mom, but she didn't take it, and you know what? I'm glad. I don't want Ellie knowing that her Mom didn't want her."

"Jim..."

"No, Mom. Please, I can't do this today." He rubbed his hand tiredly over his face. "I know you only want what you think is best for me, Mom, and for Ellie, but its not her. If she wants to talk to me, she'll call."

Larissa walked over and wrapped her arms tightly around Jim's waist. "Okay."

"Thanks Mom." Jim turned his head and placed a kiss on her temple. "I should really get going." He told her as he broke the hug and made his way over to Ellie and crouched down in front of her. "Be good for Grandma, okay?"

Ellie nodded and placed her open hand on her jaw and then slid her fingers higher onto her cheek. 'Ahhh, you want a kiss huh? I think I can do that." He teased as he stood up and kissed her cheek.

The drive only took about ten minutes, but it felt longer. He drummed his fingers nervously on the steering wheel and changed the radio station numerous times while waiting in traffic - he couldn't remember being this nervous that he just couldn't sit still.

Jim pulled into Scranton's Business Center and parked his car. He sat in silence for a couple of minutes, psyching himself up before making his way inside.

He rode the elevator with an older man who Jim was sure was looking him up and down in a strange way.

"Hi. Jim Halpert. I'm starting at Dunder Mifflin." He said as he extended his hand out and introduced himself.

The older man took his hand and held it tightly. "Creed... If you need anything, you come to me."

"Thanks, I may just do that," Jim replied nervously.

"You know, office supplies... and other stuff," Creed explained as he patted the pocket of his jacket and raised his eyebrows at Jim.

"Er, thanks." The elevator reached their floor and Creed hurried off before Jim could say anything else.

He followed the signs to Dunder Mifflin and walked over to the reception desk.

"Hi, I'm Jim, I'm the new guy."

The receptionist stood up from behind her desk and held out her hand. "Hi. I'm Pam."


	2. You Complete Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

You Complete Me

Jim's stomach rumbled loudly as he glanced at the clock at the bottom of his screen. No wonder he was so hungry. Ellie had decided her cereal would look better on her head than in her bowl, so he'd not had time to eat breakfast that morning. He quickly glanced over at Pam before making his way over to reception, picking up a handful of Jelly Beans, and tossing them into his mouth all at once. He'd only been working there a couple of days, but he already felt as thought he'd made a friend in Pam.

"Hey, so do you have any plans for lunch?" he asked, making a face at the taste of his Jelly Bean concoction.

Pam laughed at the repulsed look on his face. "Not enjoying the little creation that you made there?"

"No!" He replied, as he swallowed almost immediately, sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"What did you make?"

"Tiramisu," he explained, pointing to the little jellybeans recipe card that she had placed next to the bowl.

"Tiramisu?"

"Yeah 2 cappuccinos, 1 cream soda and 1 chocolate pudding."

Pam began gathering papers from her desk and stapling them together, before arranging them neatly in the outbox tray in front of her. "Do you even like Tiramisu?" she asked.

"Not particularly," he laughed as he leaned over her desk to see what she was doing. "So, you free for lunch? I don't want to get in the way of your...solitaire or anything."

"Oh, ha ha! Don't poke fun at the solitaire, Jim," she teased. "But yeah urm, I am free for lunch, did you want..."

"Yeah, you wanna go grab something to eat? I don't think my sandwich is gonna cut it." His stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, causing them both to laugh. "Cugino's or Coopers?"

"Ohh Cugino's! And maybe if we're not full, we could run by Friendly's afterwards and grab a Conehead?" she asked, her face lighting up at the thought of it.

Jim pulled himself up from his leaning position on her desk and winked. "You're on, Beesly."

XxXxXxX

They arrived just as they opened for lunch, opting for a booth at the back of the restaurant. The waitress took their drink orders and handed them both their menus.

Jim laughed nervously and cleared his throat when he noticed Pam staring at him. "What?"

"Nothing...so, tell me stuff."

"What sort of stuff?" he laughed as he played with the menu in front of him.

"I don't know... important stuff, like... why did you move from California to Scranton? Are you married? What's your favourite sandwich filling? That kinda stuff."

"Wow, okay... urm. Favorite sandwich filling would have to be ham and cheese, and I moved back to Scranton because I was fed up of great weather ALL the time," he teased, a crooked smile overtaking his face.

"Yeah, I can see why that would bother you," she smiled. "Seriously though..."

"I guess I just wanted a change. I grew up here, my family still lives here... and I really wanted to sell paper."

"I can understand why you would. It's definitely a high flying lifestyle that people will resent you for, just wait and see," she laughed nervously, taking a deep breath, thankful for the interruption by the waitress. They ordered their meals and looked at each other across the table, both waiting for the other to speak first.

Pam smirked. "Ignoring my questions already, hmm? So, you're not married?" She asked, tearing a bread roll in half, offering him a piece.

He shook his head and accepted the bread she was offering, dipping it generously in the oil in front of him. "Nope, you?"

"No."

"Cool." Jim responded, silently cursing himself for sounding so lame.

"How about dating? Are you seeing anyone?" she asked as she hastily spread butter on to the bread in front of her.

"No. Are you?"

"No," she replied, pausing briefly. "Wait, so you're not married? Or dating anyone? Really?"

Jim laughed at the shocked expression on Pam's face. "Yes, really. Why, does that shock you?"

"Yeah, it's just... you're pretty cute, that's all. It's unusual for guys like you to still be single."

Jim blushed at Pam's boldness. "I suppose I'm just waiting to bump into that special someone in a Starbucks line or something." He teased, trying to lighten the moment.

Pam laughed as she watched him anxiously playing with the wine glass in front of him.

"So, what about you? Why aren't you married yet?" he asked her as he folded his hands on the table in front of him to try and control his fidgeting.

"I guess I've just not found the right person to settle down with," she explained honestly as she took another bread stick from the basket.

Jim looked up and stared at her for a moment before looking away. "I think you'll be alright. Someday you'll find that guy who will pull a Jerry Maguire on you and say you had him at hello."

"Jerry Maguire? Really, Jim?"

"Hey, it's a good movie. Don't mock its brilliance..."

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it," she teased as she brought her hand up to rest on her heart. "You complete me."

They both laughed and their eyes met across the table, where they held their gaze until the waitress came over with their food. She cleared her throat to get their attention, and somehow broke the spell that had formed between them.

XxXxX

Jim yawned as he dumped his messenger bag into the passenger seat of his Honda Accord. To say he was looking forward to the weekend was an understatement. His first full week at Dunder Mifflin had completely and utterly drained him and he couldn't wait to just get home, change out of his damn suit and relax with his little girl. He was just about to put the key in the ignition, when he noticed Pam and Toby approaching his car. Out of everyone in the office, he was closest to those two; especially Pam. From the moment he walked in he knew they'd become friends, she seemed to share the same dorky sense of humour he did. He smiled to himself as he remembered Pam's comment when she walked him over to his new desk. She grabbed his elbow lightly and whispered, "Enjoy this moment, Jim, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight.""Enjoy this moment, Jim, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight..." He thought she was exaggerating, but no. It turns out that Dwight Schrute was in fact the strangest person he'd ever met - followed very closely by Creed.

Jim rolled his window down. "Hi."

"Hey, you wanna grab a beer? A couple of us are heading over to Poor Richard's for a bit." Toby asked as he nodded his head towards Pam, Meredith, Kelly, Bob and Phyllis, and some of the guys from the warehouse who were all waiting over on the other side of the parking lot for them.

Jim looked up and saw Pam smiling at him, and his fingers curled tightly around the steering wheel. "As much as I'd love to, guys, I can't tonight."

"Oh, okay." Pam replied as she played with her necklace nervously. He could have sworn she sounded disappointed by his answer.

Toby leaned his hand in and slapped Jim's shoulder awkwardly, "Yeah, it's Friday night, you've probably got a date planned or something, huh?"

"Yeah, urm...something like that." Jim looked at his watch. He knew his Mom had to be somewhere by six. "Hey, guys, sorry. I really have to go."

He looked at Pam. She looked disappointed; Toby just smiled and nodded his head.

"See you on Monday."

"Bye, Jim." Pam said quietly as she waved him off.

XxXxX

Jim was looking forward to spending the entire weekend with Ellie. The guilt he felt when he left her each morning with his Mom was starting to overwhelm him. He knew he had to remember that Ellie didn't hate him for it, and that it was probably good for her to spend some time away from him, but it didn't make it any easier.

As soon as he got home he could hear his Mom talking to Ellie, announcing that he was home, and he could already hear how excited she was. Slipping off his shoes, he stepped into the living room and immediately got down on all fours and crawled towards the little girl, who was sitting on the floor in between her Grandma's legs, her little feet bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Hey, Munchkin. Daddy's home."

Ellie clapped her hands excitedly before placing a thumb of one hand, with her fingers open, up to her forehead and tapping several times, a lot harder than was necessary.

As Jim reached Ellie, he got up on to his knees and scooped her up into his arms. "Hey, careful, Sweetheart. You're going to hurt yourself," he explained as he took her hand and showed her how to tap her forehead gently. "Daddy Daddy Daddy," he repeated, enjoying watching her copy the sign back to him on her own.

"Thanks for looking after her, Mom, was she okay?"

"She was as good as gold as usual." Larissa smiled as she leaned down and kissed Ellie, before placing a kiss on Jim's cheek. "So, I have a few minutes before I have to leave. Talk to me."

Jim smiled. That was twice someone had said that to him today. He looked at his mom suspiciously and laughed, "About what?"

"I don't know, work, maybe? You haven't really talked about it. Are the people nice?"

"Yeah. I get along well with a couple of people. The others...well... they're...you know, there are no words to describe them."

"That bad?"

"Well, today was Diversity Day..." Jim explained, as he sat Ellie on his lap and began doing the actions to "Round and Round the Garden," on her upturned palm.

"That doesn't sound so bad." She said, laughing at the look on his face.

"No, it doesn't - but it was. Michael made everyone wear these cards on their head, with a different race written on it... and then made everyone try and guess what their card said by talking to people."

"Oh, that sounds..."

"Insane? Offensive? Awkward?"

"I was going for different, but yes, it sounds a little... immoral to say the least. What did yours say?"

Jim laughed as he remembered the moment when he learned exactly what his card said.

 

Flashback to earlier that day:

"Urm, urm. Okay I've got it. This is so easy! You'll get it right away," Pam laughed as she looked up at Jim with the card stuck to his forehead. "It's really cold where you're from, eh?"

Jim bit his bottom lip, to stop himself from laughing, but still managed to look confused. "Russian?"

"Jiiim, no. Okay... I have it; you'll get it this time for sure. So..." She paused mid sentence and shook her head, "Some people think you all live in igloos and urm... you really love maple syrup..."

"Hmm. Could I be Canadian, ehhh?"

"YES."

"Good job with those hints, by the way," he teased, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "Wanna get oat of here, ehhh?"

"Are you going to be doing that incredibly realistic accent all day?" she asked him as she made her way out of the conference room.

He kept the joke going a little longer, loving the reaction he was getting from Pam. It'd been a long time since he'd had this much fun, especially with someone of the opposite sex. "Sooaarrryyyy Pam! Does this bug you? Where should we go? What abooot the break room, eh? Or maybe the kitchen?"

"You're ridiculous."

 

End of flashback.

 

"Pam sounds nice, is she pretty?"

"Mom!" Jim replied defensively.

"What? I was just wondering."

Jim grabbed the knot of his tie, loosened it quickly and popped open the top button of his shirt. "Yeah... I guess she is."

"Do you like her?"

Jim stood up and Ellie looked at him as she brought a cupped hand up to her mouth, showing him she wanted some food. "You want something to eat, Sweetheart?" he asked, mimicking her action. He made his way into the kitchen and poured some Cheerios into a bowl and gave a couple to Ellie.

"So, do you?"

"What?" he asked, watching Ellie try and shove as many Cheerios in to her mouth as she could.

"Like that girl Pam?"

"Mom. Don't. Even if I did like her, it's not like I can do anything about it. I have Ellie to think about now. Plus, I don't think she'd be too thrilled to be starting something up with someone who has a kid."

Larissa smiled knowingly, folding her arms and leaning against the kitchen counter. "Oh, so you know that for sure do you? When you told her about Ellie, she immediately tensed up and started avoiding you?" she teased.

He knew what his Mom was doing. God, why did he suddenly feel as though he was back in tenth grade?

"I haven't told them about Ellie."

"What? Jim, are you crazy? You have to tell them! Isn't she on your insurance?" Larissa asked him as she stood up quickly, folding her arms in front of her as she waited for an answer.

Jim looked at his Mom before turning his attention back to Ellie. "Of course she's on my health insurance. People at corporate know, just... no one here."

Her tone softened as she waited for him to explain. "I don't understand."

"It's just... I don't want people thinking I'm using Ellie as an excuse... you know? Or that I want special treatment. I need for them to trust me and to know I'll pull my weight around there before I tell them. " He pulled out a stall at the breakfast table and sat down, placing Ellie on the bar in front of him.

"Jim, not everyone's like your old colleagues. You were unfortunate and worked with some narrow-minded jerks, but you can't think like that."

"I know, but..."

"No buts, Sweetie. Think about it okay? If not for yourself, then do it for Ellie. Don't you want to put her picture on your desk?" she asked, smiling at the change of expression on Jim's face.

"Yeah, of course I do," he replied, thinking about the many pictures he had taken of his little girl that would be perfect for a frame on his desk.

XxXxXxX

After his Mom left, he grabbed some dinner before carrying Ellie upstairs. He carefully removed her hearing aids and bathed her quickly before getting her ready for bed. He brought her back downstairs with him, where they snuggled together on the sofa with a warm bottle of milk. He loved moments like that, when she was so sleepy and heavy in his arms, but her eyes still snapped open to make sure he was still there.

He couldn't imagine what it was like for Ellie, to be living in a world of silence, and that scared him. He was her Daddy. He should have been able to make everything okay; he should have been able to fix everything and he couldn't. That killed him. He wanted to make sure that she knew he was there, that she was safe, and that she was his world. He rested his head back and thought about what his Mom had said.

Maybe it would be good for him to start dating again... maybe he'd ask Pam out one night next week. As soon as that idea popped into his head, he felt guilty. What was he thinking? He didn't have time to date anyone. As much as he knew he would love to, he just couldn't. How could he commit himself to a romantic relationship when he was 100% committed to being a father?

He could feel Ellie getting heavier and he peeked down to see that she was struggling to finish her milk. He removed her bottle and carried her upstairs and tucked her in.

Once he was satisfied that Ellie was settled, he made his way to his bedroom and threw himself down on to his bed face first. Why was he still thinking about what his mom had said? He'd not thought about dating at all until tonight. Well, not consciously, anyway. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Pam standing in the conference room, with the card stuck to her head, trying to get him to work out he was Canadian. He got it right away, it was easy, but he loved watching her put so much energy in to it. He loved how he made her laugh when he produced this insanely bad accent. He was slightly embarrassed, but kept it going just because he loved to hear her laugh. She was so pretty when she laughed. She did this thing where she threw her head back and...

Oh God, he thought, I'm screwed.

TBC


	3. The Telling of The Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It was Sunday evening and Jim was about to give Ellie her bath. Jim folded a towel under his knees as he leaned over the tub and tested the temperature of the running water. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ellie crawling across the floor away from him at lightning speed.

"Come back, you little monkey," Jim laughed as he reached out and scooped Ellie into his arms and placed her onto his lap. "You, little lady, need a bath," he told her, balling his fists together and rubbing them in a circular motion on her chest, as if he was washing her. Ellie leaned her head back and looked up at him as she removed the fingers from her mouth and attempted to pull off one of her socks with her wet fingers. Jim smiled.

"You want to help Daddy take off your socks off, huh?" he asked, pulling the item of clothing off and freeing her wiggling toes. "This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed at home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had none. And this little piggy cried 'Wee! Wee! Wee!' all the way," he sang as he tickled the soles of her feet, making her giggle.

Holding out his index fingers so Ellie could grab hold of him, he helped her lift up her arms while he removed her t-shirt. "Good girl," he cooed, loving the laugh that spilled out of her mouth every time they performed this ritual together. He didn't know what she thought was so funny, but he didn't really care, because the sound of her laughter was like music to his ears.

Finishing undressing her, he removed her aids before lifting her into the warm bubbly water, and watched as she kicked her legs around excitedly, causing a mini tidal wave to materialise and spray him with water. Jim laughed as he pulled his blue Phillies shirt over his head and threw it into the laundry basket behind him. "Yay, daddy made a basket," he told her, smiling to himself when he realised that she couldn't hear anything he was saying. Even if she could, she'd have no idea what he was talking about.

Ellie loved bath time, and he watched affectionately as she shoved handfuls of bubbles into her mouth. Jim wiggled his fingers while raising his hands up and down, making the sign for bubbles. "You like those bubbles, don't ya?" he teased as she held out her hand and offered him some of his own. He brought his mouth closer to her hand and smacked his lips together. "Mmm, yum," he laughed, pretending to eat the bubbles Ellie served him.

"I think we need to wash your hair, what do you think?" he asked, pouring some fresh water into a cup and gently emptying it over Ellie's head.

After he washed her hair, he let her play with her favourite bath toy, Diver Dan. This was also his favourite toy when he was little, and his mom had kept it and given it to him when they'd moved back to Scranton. It was a little yellow diving board and slide that stuck to the side of the bath. It came with a tiny red lifeboat and blonde haired figure called Dan, who would dive off and into the bath when you pushed the button. This could keep Ellie entertained for hours; she loved watching the small toy land in the bath beside her, and would clap enthusiastically as it splashed water in her face. She'd raise her hands and point her fingertips together - the sign for more, and her way of asking him to do it again. At eleven months, Ellie had picked up a lot of the signs that he had been using, and he was finding it easier and easier to communicate with her every day. It was definitely something to be proud of. His brother Tom had told him that he was unable to understand what his own daughter, Vanessa, wanted until she was at least eighteen months old. But seeing Ellie communicate with him using even the most basic signs made Jim's heart swell with pride.

Once the water had started to cool down, Jim lifted the puny little bundle out of the bath, and wrapped her up tightly in her favourite hooded monkey towel, a gift from her Uncle Pete when she was born. Every time he wrapped her up in it he laughed to himself as he remembered opening the gift. Pete had written inside the card, "This will definitely bring out the little monkey in her - oh wait, she's yours, she probably won't need it." As much as he hated to admit it, Jim knew that Pete was right. She was his, and she was definitely his little monkey.

He carried Ellie into her bedroom, her sleepy head bobbing softly on his bare shoulder, before gently lying her down and changing her into her pink footsie pyjamas. Somewhere between putting on her clean diaper and fastening up her all in one, she seemed to wake up a little. So, he decided to pop in her hearing aids and read her a bedtime story. He carried her over to the bookshelf and found Frog and Toad Are Friends, one of his childhood favourites. He sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of her room, and snuggled Ellie close to his chest, throwing her blankie on top as he began to read. "Frog ran up the path to Toad's house. He knocked on the front door. There was no answer. 'Toad, Toad,' shouted Frog, 'wake up. It is spring!' 'Blah,' said a voice from inside the house..."

As he continued to read, he noticed that Ellie wasn't paying attention to what he was saying and was busy looking around the room as if he was not speaking to her. She loved the sound of his voice, and normally, whenever he spoke to her, she would watch him closely. The look in her eyes told Jim that she was listening, even though she wasn't quite old enough to understand what it was he was saying. So he knew right away that something was definitely wrong. He sat her up and adjusted the aid in her right ear, jumping when he heard it making a high pitched squeaking noise. "Ah, shit," he muttered as he removed both of the aids from her ears. "Looks like we'll be seeing the ear doctor tomorrow, little lady."

Adjusting Ellie on to his shoulder, he stood up and walked around her dimly lit room as he began to sing her to sleep, rubbing gentle circles on to her back. He knew she couldn't hear him, but he also knew that she was slowly but surely falling asleep - she could feel him singing to her and that soothed her each time.

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

XxXxX

The next morning Jim stood in the kitchen, carrying a sobbing Ellie in his arms, with the phone cradled uncomfortably between his ear and shoulder. "Hi. This is Jim Halpert and I'm leaving a message for Doctor Carter. My daughter, Ellie is a patient with you, and I need to book her in for an appointment with you ASAP. Her aids... they're making this kind of high-pitched noise and... and yes, I've changed and re-changed the batteries and they still make the sound... so, they're definitely not working. So, if you could give me a call on my work number and let me know when you could fit her in, that would be great, it's 555 4658... thanks."

He hung up the phone and ran his hand slowly down Ellie's back trying to calm her down. He walked over to the table and took a seat, adjusting Ellie in his arms. He held out his hand palm up in front of them and placed his other hand on top as if placing a cup on a table. "You want some water, Sweetheart?" he asked, offering her a sippy cup full of cold water. As he leaned across her, she began gnawing hungrily on his arm, covering it in baby-drool. Jim looked down at his baby girl and that all too familiar feeling of guilt began building in his stomach. That feeling of despair and helplessness that he got when he knew his little girl was in pain and he couldn't make it go away. "So, that's a no to the water, but yes to Daddy's arm, huh? But does that feel good?" he asked, watching her calm down a little. The pressure from chewing was obviously helping ease the pain.

Jim heard the front door open and smiled as his mom let herself in and entered the kitchen.

Larissa walked over and placed a kiss on his cheek and ruffled Ellie's hair. "Morning."

"Urgh," he replied groggily. "I feel as though I've not even been to sleep. She was up most of the night."

"Aw, Sweetheart, you poor thing. Although I wouldn't be surprised if this was God's way of paying you back for being such a poor sleeper when you were her age. Your dad and I didn't get a proper night's sleep until you were at least three," she teased, running her hand over Ellie's red-hot cheeks.

"I hate leaving her like this."

"Oh, Jim," she laughed sympathetically, seeing the look of sadness on her son's face. "She'll be okay. She's just teething," she reassured him, as she watched Ellie happily sucking on Jim's wrist. "Teething's no fun, is it, kiddo?" she cooed as she ran a cool finger down Ellie's burning cheek. Larissa used the table to keep her balance as she bent down in front of Ellie. "Jim, why doesn't she have her aids in?" she lectured him as she pushed herself up off of the floor. "Remember what you told me? You need to put them in as soon as she wakes up."

"I do know that, Mom, but thank you for reminding me." He teased, but stopped quickly when he noticed the familiar maternal look of impatience. It didn't take him long to explain what was going on and that he'd hopefully be home at some point today to take her in for her appointment. Once he was finally able to pry his drooling monkey off of his arm, he left, hoping to get to work a little early so he could make up for time he'd miss taking said drooling monkey to the hospital.

XxXxX

It was a little after 8:30 by the time Jim pulled into the business park's parking lot. Despite the somewhat crappy morning he'd had, he was in a good mood by the time he arrived at work. He loved Mondays. For the last nine months, it had pretty much just been him and Ellie. As much as he cherished those moments alone with her, he longed for some decent adult company. He couldn't be bothered to wait for the elevator to arrive, so he hastily climbed the stairs two at a time, excited to tell Pam all about the weekend adventures of his crazy next door neighbour.

He walked through the office door, grinning at Pam when she looked up from organising the mail into different piles on the reception desk in front of her. She welcomed him with a tight-lipped smile and quickly went back to what she was doing. "Hey."

Pam vigorously shuffled one of the piles before setting it back down. "Hi," she replied quietly, looking at him briefly before returning her eyes to the task at hand.

"Did you have a nice weekend?"

"Yes, thanks. You have a message," she told him as she pushed a pink sticky note towards him.

"Oh, thanks. Hey, you okay?" he asked, reaching for a handful of skittles that were sitting in the bowl on her desk. It was way too early in the morning to be eating candy, but he wanted to spend as much time as possible at reception. If that meant eating pure sugar for breakfast, then so be it.

She looked up and nodded her head before continuing on with the mail. "Yeah."

Throwing a couple more skittles into his mouth as he focussed on the message, unable to help the slight pump of his fist as he read what it said. "Oh, awesome. Hey, mind if I...?" he began to ask, pointing to the phone next to her, but stopping when he noticed the look of annoyance on Pam's face. "I'll just call them back from my desk..."

"You probably should," she told him, as she picked up the phone to pass on a message to Kelly.

Jim walked over to his desk, giving Pam a quick glance before picking up the phone. He was still looking at her when the person on the other end answered. He jumped slightly. He was concentrating so hard on what could possibly be wrong with Pam that he wasn't paying any attention to the telephone call. "Oh, urm, hi. This is Jim Halpert," he began, lowering his voice. "You left me a message, about an appointment for Ellie Halpert... okay no problem, thank you. We'll see you there."

He replaced the handset and without even looking up he could feel Pam's eyes burning a hole into the back of his head. He looked up and tried to make eye contact with her, but she'd adjusted her monitor slightly so that she couldn't see him. He sighed, wondering what was bothering her before picking up the phone. He called Toby first, letting him know that he had to leave the office for an hour or so at 10:00am, and that he'd make the time up later in the week. He then dialed his mom, hoping that he could try and get a couple of sales in before he had to leave. "Hi, it's me. Yeah, I managed to get an appointment this morning so I'll be home at about 10:15. Of course... love you too. Bye."

Jim had never seen Pam upset before and he didn't like it. He wondered if anyone else had noticed that something was bothering her. He wasn't sure how you could miss it, her whole demeanour had changed. He'd only known her a short time but from the way she sounded on the phone with Kelly to how she hit the keys of her keyboard a little harder than normal, he could tell she was not happy about something. He wasn't sure what could have happened to put her in such a bad mood, but whatever it was, he wanted to fix it for her. After having such a bad night with Ellie, he'd been really looking forward to seeing her that day. They shared the same sense of humor and they never failed to make each other laugh... well, usually anyway. He'd thought about her A LOT over the weekend, probably more than he'd care to admit, but that wasn't the same as seeing her. He loved nothing more than getting to work and listening to Pam answer the phone all day. There was something about the way her tone of voice changed depending on who she was talking to. When she answered the phone she sounded uninterested and melancholy. When talking to Michael, she took on this slightly patronising tone as if she was talking to a child. But when she spoke to him, she sounded... different, happier somehow, and that was definitely something he looked forward to. And now, she was in a bad mood, and he had no idea why. He hadn't done anything differently. He tried to tease her to make her laugh. What had he done to upset her? God, why am I even thinking about this? He laughed quietly to himself. Of course it wouldn't be anything to do with him. Everything was fine when they left work on Friday. In fact, Friday had been pretty awesome. Pam had even helped him glue Dwight's mouse to his mouse pad. At lunch, he and Pam had plotted more pranks together, deciding that it would be Jim's mission to make Dwight's work life as miserable as possible.

Unable to stand it any longer, he stood up and made his way over to Pam's desk, dangling his hands over the side so that his fingers were almost in front of her face. "So, I was thinking," he started, clearing his throat. "Do you want to grab some lunch this afternoon or something?"

Pam looked up from her game of Free Cell and shook her head slightly. "I really don't think that's a good idea. Do you?"

"Uh, I do, actually," he smirked. "I'll be pretty hungry by the time I get back."

"That's not what I meant, Jim," she replied, as she leaned back stiffly in her chair and sighed loudly. Jim was silent for a moment, crunching a piece of candy in between his teeth before he answered her. "Then I don't understand."

They were interrupted by Toby, who gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder as he walked past. "I hope everything's okay with Ellie. Just give me a call if you'll need longer than an hour," he smiled before disappearing into Michael's office.

Jim turned to Pam, and immediately noticed the sudden shift in her posture. The way her whole body had tensed up and the way her mouth formed a hard line broke his heart. He wasn't sure what he'd done, or hadn't done, but he had to try to find out. How else could he fix it?

"Pam..."

Her voice cracked slightly as she looked up at him. "Just go back to your desk, Jim."

"Pam."

She scooted her chair back and walked towards the fax machine. "I have things to do," she told him quietly.

"They can wait. Can I talk to you outside for a minute?" he asked, smiling gently when she nodded her head. She hastily made her way out into the hall and through the door leading to the stairwell.

Pam remained silent as she rested her back against the wall, folding her arms protectively in front of her as she waited for him to speak.

"I don't understand why you're so mad at me."

Pam let out a frustrated sigh and looked down at the floor. "I'm not... I'm not mad at you."

"Well clearly something's upset you."

"Can we please not do this now? I'm really tired," she asked weakly, almost pleading with him to stop talking.

"Come on, Pam. Don't do this," he begged, moving his head a little to try and get her to look at him. Shoving his hands deep in to his pockets, he asked, "Is it something I've done?"

"I should get back..."

"Something I haven't done?"

"Jim..."

"Something I've said?"

"Jim..."

"Pam?"

She bit her lip nervously. "It's just... we're friends, right?"

He looked at her, confused by what she'd just asked him. He wondered whether she was consciously avoiding the question he'd just asked. "Yes, we're friends," he assured her. He looked at his watch, seeing that he had a little over forty minutes before he had to leave.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?" she asked sarcastically.

"What the...? Where is this even coming from? I really, really don't need this right now Pam," he groaned, running his hand tiredly through his hair. "Of course we're friends."

"Well I thought so too, Jim. But obviously I was wrong," she spat.

He furrowed his eyebrows, genuinely puzzled by what she was saying. "Okay, woah. What?"

"Are you serious?" she asked, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"I just really want to know what I've done to upset you so much since Friday that's made you question our friendship..."

She looked away from him and reached up, subconsciously playing with her necklace.

"You gotta help me out here, Pam," his tone becoming more desperate this time.

"You told me you weren't married, Jim... Oh my, God, I flirted with a married man. I feel like such an idiot!" she exclaimed as she threw her head back against the wall, the soft thud echoing throughout the hallway.

Jim leaned towards her a little and rested his right hand on the wall behind her head. He smiled softly as the wheels began turning in his head. Everything becoming suddenly clear.

"I'm not married," he told her as he brought his left hand up towards his chest, to make his point. "See?"

"Really?" Pam asked, her tone eloquent of her disbelief. "Then who's Ellie?"

He removed his hand from the wall and cracked his knuckles before looking over at Pam. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you," he explained as he took a deep breath. "Ellie is my daughter."

"Oh," Pam muttered, more to herself than anything else. A look of sheer embarrassment washed over her face as she'd realised what she'd assumed. "Jim, I'm so... I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Jim moved to stand next to Pam and leaned next to her. "Hey, it's fine, honestly. Don't worry about it," he reassured her.

"No actually, it's not fine." Pam pushed herself off of the wall slightly. "I just... I still don't get why you didn't... This is big, Jim, like really big, and I can't believe I thought that you were..."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her," he apologised, cutting her off. "It's just... We've had a rough couple of months and I just...I didn't want people acting weird around me, or feeling sorry for me, you know?"

"No, not really," Pam replied, unable to hide the hurt in her voice. "How old is Ellie?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Jim smiled. His entire face lit up as he began talking about his daughter. "Eleven months."

Pam looked down and shuffled her feet against the floor; Jim could feel his frustration building. The way Pam was upset with him one moment, and then withdrawn the next, was confusing to say the least. The tension between them was at an all time high, and he had no real idea how, but he knew he had to change it. So he did what comes naturally to new parents... he bragged.

"Do you wanna...? I mean... I have a picture..." he began, his hand already pulling the wallet out of his back pocket.

She nodded her head and held out her hand.

"This was taken a couple of weeks ago," he told her, pointing at the photograph in Pam's hand. It showed a smiling Jim sitting on the floor, with a little brown haired cherub on his lap. Ellie had a mushy, half eaten chocolate cookie gripped tightly in her hands as she shovelled the cookie into her mouth. Chocolate covered most of the lower half of her face and was even coating her nose. "She's a bit of a cookie monster," he said with a laugh more to keep the conversation flowing than anything else.

Pam looked closely at the little girl in the photograph in front of her. "She's really cute," she admitted, the honesty in her voice taking him by surprise.

He took the photo from Pam and looked at it quickly before placing it back in his wallet. "Thanks, I think so."

Neither of them said anything and the silence between them grew more and more uneasy, causing them both to fidget uncomfortably in each other's company. "I wouldn't have treated you any differently."

"Yeah, you would have."

She looked up making eye contact with him for the first since they'd been out in the hall. "It's great to know you have so much faith in our friendship," she spat bitterly.

The roller-coaster of emotions Pam was expressing frightened him. He couldn't work out if she was more hurt or angry with him. Jim didn't blame Pam for behaving like this; he understood why she was so upset with him. Hell, if the roles were reversed, he'd probably be acting the just the same. He just hoped that she would let him explain.

"Pam, you know that's not what I meant. I'm not saying you'd have treated me badly, but... when people find out - it's like, they start acting weird around me and it suddenly become all they can see... it's just really complicated. I promise I'll explain everything to you at lunch, okay? I could explain now, but I have to leave soon and I don't want to rush this. I want you to understand. So you have to promise me you'll let me take you out to lunch as soon as I get back, okay?"

Pam sniffed loudly and used the sleeve of her cardigan to gently rub the end of her nose before answering him quietly. "Okay."

XxXxX

He left work right on time and made it to the hospital in time for Ellie's appointment with Dr. Carter.

"So, what seems to be the problem?" The doctor asked, as he leaned forward and tickled Ellie's feet.

Jim explained the situation as clearly as he could to Dr. Carter. This was the first time the aids had gone wrong, and Jim didn't want Ellie to have to be without them if he could help it. When she'd first got her aids a couple of months ago, the physician emphasised how important it was that Ellie wore them the entire time she was awake, so that she could develop as normally as possible and learn to use the aids to her advantage.

The doctor smiled at the obvious worry on Jim's face. "No need for concern, this is perfectly normal," he reassured him. "All we need to do is retune them and they'll be as good as new."

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

Dr Carter slipped Ellie's aids back into her ears and placed a small sensor on to her forehead. He then pointed to the computer screen sitting on his desk. "This will help us distinguish the sounds that Ellie can and can't hear, as well as when we've hit the correct frequency," he explained, as he pushed a couple of buttons on the computer in front of him.

The whole process of re-tuning the aids took about twenty minutes. This was the first time Jim had seen them do it, and for someone with perfect hearing like himself, it was still difficult to comprehend that there were sounds that he took for granted that Ellie just couldn't hear. Jim was fascinated at the way Ellie would move around when they changed the frequency and she'd suddenly hear something. He had to stay as silent as possible during the test, and Ellie was uncharacteristically quiet, which surprised him. Once everything was done, the doctor nodded his head, letting Jim know it was okay to talk again.

"Hi, Monkey. Daddy is so proud of you, you were such a good girl today." Jim cooed, as he turned Ellie around so she was facing him and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I love you."

At the sound of his voice, Ellie squealed in his arms and kicked her legs, shoving her fist in her mouth.

"Is that better?" he asked, pulling her hand free, and accepting the tissue the doctor offered. "Can you say thank you?"

Ellie looked up at him and brought her right hand up to her mouth, palm facing inwards, and pushed it away from her face. "Not to me, silly, to Dr. Carter," he laughed, turning Ellie around to face the doctor and helping her make the sign for thank you.

XxXxXxX

By the time he'd dropped Ellie back of at home and pulled into the parking lot at work, it was almost 12:00. He hoped that Pam had had enough time to process what she already knew so that he could explain himself fully at lunch.

"Hey. You ready to go?" he asked, walking through the door to their office and making his way over to reception.

Pam looked up and smiled weakly at him. "Now? Oh, yeah sure. Hold on, just let me switch the phones over." Jim was slightly surprised that she agreed to leave so easily. He knew she promised she'd go, but he was expecting her to have changed her mind, or to have made up an excuse.

Grabbing her coat from the rack she quietly followed him downstairs to his car. "It's warm out, so I didn't know if you wanted to maybe grab a sandwich and eat somewhere?"

"That sounds fine," she told him as she opened the passenger door and climbed in.

They rode to the bagel place in silence; all that could be heard was their breathing and Jim's rhythmic tapping on the steering wheel. Silence always made him feel nervous and jumpy. He knew he should say something, but every time he opened his mouth he just couldn't make the words form the way he wanted to, so he figured it was probably best to let the silence ride for now. Maybe food would help.

Once they'd purchased their lunch, they walked across the road to the park and found somewhere quiet they could sit and talk. Jim removed his coat and placed it on the floor next to him. "You can sit on this if you want."

"Thanks," she replied as she sat down.

Once again the awkward silence overtook them. She watched as he ripped open his packet of chips and then carefully peeled away the excess cheese and ham from his bagel, before stuffing it inside.

"Ellie's really cute." Pam admitted quietly, as she popped the straw into her drink.

"Thanks," he smiled, both at the compliment and in relief that she'd finally brought up the subject.

"She looks like you."

Jim laughed softly to himself, "She really does. When she was born, the nurses at the hospital joked around saying she looked so much like me and nothing like..." He stopped talking and looked down at his half eaten bagel.

"Her mom..." Pam finished for him when she noticed that he was struggling to complete the sentence.

"Yeah."

"Does Ellie's mom live in Scranton?"

"No."

"Oh."

Jim leaned back on his hands and looked at Pam solemnly. "I think she's still living in Orange County."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I've not seen or heard from her in months."

"I'm really sorry, Jim." Pam said sincerely. "That must be really difficult for you."

"Yeah, it is." He admitted. "But...you know what, you probably don't want to hear about all of my problems..."

"Jim!"

"As soon as I tell people about Ellie, they freak out. It's like they don't know what to say to me. Some just smile... and then you get the people who tell me how sorry they are... and then once they find out Chloe left, the pity smiles begin..."

Pam reached over and stilled Jim's hand. "What are you talking about?"

"Ellie. She has a hearing problem, she's had it ever since she was born," he explained, his foot moved fidgeting back and forth in the grass. "She was six weeks premature. She was so tiny that she could fit in the palm of my hand." Jim held his right hand out to Pam, showing her how small she was. "She was also really jaundiced - they think that's what caused it."

Pam rested her hand on Jim's bouncing leg. "Oh, Jim."

"That's what I mean. You don't have to feel sorry for me."

"I'm not feeling sorry for you. I actually think it's pretty amazing. She's lucky to have a Dad like you in her life."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Don't guess anything. Look at me. She really is so lucky to have you."

"Do you really think so?" he asked sincerely.

The look of amazement on Jim's face caused Pam to laugh softly. "Don't sound so shocked by that. I can already tell you're amazing with her."

"I really am sorry I didn't tell you - about everything, Pam. You have to know that. It's just been a really... shitty couple of months, you know?"

"Jim, it's fine," Pam tried reassuring him.

"No it isn't. You've been good friend to me and... I've wanted to tell you... honestly."

Pam was quiet for a moment, before Jim continued.

"I just don't understand how she doesn't want to see Ellie," Jim told her quietly, the obvious relief at finally being able to talk about this with someone evident on his face. He took a deep breath, resting his palm on his cheek and leaned on his crossed legs. "I should probably start from the beginning..."

"That would help," Pam said, smiling at him so that he knew she was just teasing.

Jim lifted a hand up to his chest and couldn't stop the small laugh from escaping. "That hurts, Beesly. I'm pouring my heart and soul out to you and you mock me."

"Suck it up, Halpert, and start your story."

"Chloe and I started dating sophomore year of college..."

TBC

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this story after my friend found out recently that her little boy is profoundly deaf. He'll need to wear hearing aids full time, and just like Jim, they've been encouraged to sign at the same time as talking to him.


End file.
